Friday, May 28, 2004


Sorry for the lack of posts lately, but I'm back and that's all that matters.

The following is a letter from an angry Puzzlestud reader, stay tuned for my response coming soon.

I too was at the Phoenix stop of the Punk Voter Tour and was wondering
where you were hiding all night. I didn't see anyone wearing a
Bush/Cheney 04 hat. If I had, you would have run into one of those head
on attacks that you were looking for so much. If you were looking for a
debate you could have found one. Or if you were looking for a conflict
you could have found that too. All that aside, your article is guilty of
the same untruth that you and your cohorts accuse Punkvoter or Michael
Moore of, Lies. First off, you surely didn't check out the NOFX booth.
They were selling Sweatshop free T Shirts. This was clearly marked on
the tags.

I'm sure you heard that the show was supposed to be at ASU and was going
to be free. After ASU heard there was going to be artists speaking
against Bush they canceled the show. (Sounds like a Disney move if ever
I have seen one.) So the show was moved and tickets were sold to
compensate for expenses that were wasted on the first venue. As far as
the CD is concerned it was sold for only 6 bucks. If you've been to a
record store lately you'll agree this is a far cry from what major label
albums are going for these days.

If you don't like Jello well shit, I don't like the guy either. I've
meet the guy twice, once that night, and he comes off with this more
political than thou attitude. Sometimes he is to left for even myself.
But I think some of his messages are good, for example: don't believe
everything the government tells you, they will lie to you. Also, to
support the troops, by bringing them home. When you say he was spewing
this rhetoric to a few hundred drunk teenagers, I'd say it was more than
that. The place was sold out, and I saw dozens trying to bribe security
to get in. And when you say he is pocketing a hefty fee, your lack of
knowledge on the subject really comes out. None of the artists who
participated on the tour were paid. All money taken in was either
donated to, or to help with the cost of the tour. Most of
these dates were free to students of the University where they played so
not allot of money was taken in to begin with. And don't forget the
money that ASU themselves cost the tour.

If you're looking for someone involved that night who has the cojones to
say these things in public you have to look no farther than Mike
Burkett, lead singer of NOFX & founder of In the past
months he has gone on numerous radio programs to talk about what he is
doing. (Including the Howard Stern show.) He's been on the cover of
magazines. (Alternative Press) He even went one on one with Dennis
Miller on his TV program. (I'm sure Dennis is your Boy, at least
Conservative Dennis. Not the liberal Dennis we all grew up with.)

I'm sure you have labeled me some kind of bleeding heart, but that would
not be true. I hate Democrats, but I hate Republicans even more. I form
my beliefs on what I think is right and wrong. I will never tow any
party line. I think this is a very important time in history and this
next election is crucial. In my opinion we need to get this maniac out
of office. I, like the Punkvoter movement, will do anything I can to
help make this happen.

In closing I feel that you have done an injustice to anyone who would
have the displeasure to read your post of lies. If you wanted to show me
something why don't you post my e-mail on your website and let your
readers have all the facts. Then let them decide whether or not
Punkvoter is worth wild.

Chris Melton

Luke Duke 5/28/2004 12:43:00 PM #

Tuesday, May 18, 2004


Bush Missing in Action

Phoenix readers, please help do what you can to find Brad's bush. If you ask me, the landscaper did it.

Luke Duke 5/18/2004 07:08:00 PM #

Saturday, May 15, 2004


A letter from a conservative punk soldier(stolen from

Hey man, I just want to say, I agree whole-heartedly. I'm a Lance Corporal in the Marines. I've been in about two years now. Let me tell you, all this shit that the media is saying is such a lie. I was in Iraq. I watched a friend of mine suffer for nearly 12 hours before he died, but we were glad to be there. I never imagined that in this day and age an entire nation could be suppressed and tortured like that for so long. When we went into Nasyriah we found hundreds of dead bodies of civilians. I have pictures of a lot of it. When we talk to the local people (via a translator) they told us that Iraqi soldiers were going house to house and pulling men, women, even some children out to fight against us and the British. If anyone refused, them and there families were all mowed down right where they stood.

The media is making it look like we're over there being the big bullies to these poor people. A few of them might see it that way, but the majority of the people were so happy that we came. People were trying to give us presents. It was awful when I saw how many people were malnourished, and then I had to see Saddam's palaces that he spent so many hundreds of millions of dollars on. Why couldn't he use some of that to help his people? But CNN makes it look like we're the enemies. I wish they'd interview some of the people that I met last February and March in Iraq, because the country they live in is not the one that mainstream media keeps portraying.

I'm not saying that we're perfect. The guys who were taking those pictures are wrong, and they are sure paying for it. But why can't the media show the pictures of all the Iraqis that Saddam murdered. Hell, I'll send some of my own pictures of the rooms where they tortured people, blood splattered on the walls and all.

Anyway, I'll get off that topic. I absolutely hate pop culture, media, tv, all of it. It's like people have to pick these little pet issues (like affirmative action) that are totally asinine to salve their consciences because in reality all they live for is their own comfort. They give a few bucks to united way, put a greenpeace sticker on their bumper, and call the president a nazi. But they can't see past the insultingly obvious facade that constitutes pop culture. If they're so concerned about the people in Iraq, why don't they spend some of their precious money and go over there and do something. Anyone can. Or why not work voluntarily for the red cross overseas for a year or so. But some people never will because it's easier to just talk a lot and never move outside of the comfort zone. I guarantee that if theydid, they'd be a LOT more grateful for the country that they live in, flawed as it is. And they'd be a lot less inclined to make up stupid slogans criticizing things that they really don't have a clue about.

Anyway, I'm glad that you guys are trying to get the word out. I've been a die hard punk since I was 14, and I'm 22 now. I was in a band until the drummer and bass player got deployed. But I've always been conservative. If someone shows me logically that I'm wrong, then I welcome the correction. Until then, I'm a punk, and I'm conservative, and I don't see that changing.

LCpl ***** -- USMC, 2 Mar Div

Luke Duke 5/15/2004 02:14:00 PM #

Thursday, May 13, 2004


I don't want to jinx anything, but I've been unemployed four days now and I believe I just got a job that pays about 30% more than the one that let me go. So, the next time somebody tells me that the economy sucks or that there are no jobs available, I think I'm going to chop them in their throat.

I've been looking hard and applying at a lot of places,hence the slow blogging, but in the end I got more than one offer. I believe that it is a very small percentage of the popultion who genuinely try, genuinely have skills, and still can't find a job. My girlfriend's dad owns a successful business, and he can't pay people enough to show up to work. I mean we're talking 15 and hour to sweep floors at construction sites--and that's the bottom rung. He gives incentives for being hired, he gives incentives for staying, but people just don't want to work hard.

Luke Duke 5/13/2004 09:23:00 PM #

Wednesday, May 12, 2004


Monday was my lucky day. I got laid off, but then I found a dollar on the floor.

Luke Duke 5/12/2004 02:41:00 PM #

Saturday, May 08, 2004


Running around the web today I found an interesting column on Jesse Michaels from the band operation Ivy has this to say:

Like Fat Mike, "I hate talking about politics but somebody has to these days" our country is in a very dangerous place and if there is a prolonged war as a result of American global aggression, the consequences will come to our nice little suburbs. We will all feel it. I am not talking about terrorism, I am talking about no money for schools, increased militarism and invasion of privacy, conscription, an end to social services as we know them, zero funding for the arts, and other ramifications of living under the rule of a "War President." (Bush's quote). Already, our children are going to be paying for the massive amounts of money being handed over to the robber barons of the defense and oil industries by the thugs and manipulators in the White House. We should take whatever measures we can to avoid this or other disasters!

That is what's important--not survival, but survival of "the arts." How about we let the arts fund themselves and we let the government worry about keeping us alive? The gall of this guy. ... the consequences will come to our nice little suburbs. We have already felt consequences of global terrorism in our suburbs, and for that matter in our ghettos and our metropolisis. Terrorism is at it's lowest rate since 1969, thanks to a war on terrorism. Terrorists who are dead or locked-up are un-able to kill. Bush is saving people. Those are tangible lives saved by a hawkish foreign policy. To my knowledge 'the arts" have not suffered because of it(except for the assault on real art from shitty little punks who hold the narcissistic belief that they are talented/smart enough to decide our foreign policy through God-awful music).

Luke Duke 5/08/2004 01:13:00 PM #

Friday, May 07, 2004


I think Lileks is a bad influence on the rest of the blogosphere. First he aligns himself with the wannabe dictator of the blogosphere--Hugh Hewitt--but he just coerced Glenn Reynolds into showing the same lack of work-ethic that Lileks himself has been known to display on more than one occasion(a whole month with no bleats except for the capture of Saddam).

I know it might sound a wee hypocritical for me to wag my finger on this one seeing as I have never blogged on a weekend and never really say anything important at all anyway, but that's just the point. I don;t say anything important. So the world is not missing my commentary. Bloggers like Glenn and James are a national treasure--no--a national resource, and if we have to invade Jasperwood and wherever the hell Glenn lives and mine their talents from their abnormally large brains against their will, then so be it. Consider this as warning...

Luke Duke 5/07/2004 03:23:00 PM #

Question: If an upstart radio network collapses in the middle of the biggest town in the country, but nobody's listening, does it make a sound?

Answer: Yes, the sound of Al Franken weeping openly.

Luke Duke 5/07/2004 12:43:00 PM #

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope all you mothers out there have a great weekend. I will spend mine sleeping.

Luke Duke 5/07/2004 12:38:00 PM #

I think Al Franken has a little too much time on his hands. Nationally syndicated talk show hosts should be able to keep themselves busy enough without having to call editorial writers in a market they are not even broadcasted in and splitting hairs.

Luke Duke 5/07/2004 10:56:00 AM #

Thursday, May 06, 2004


Today, Lileks linked to a site where you can chat with Jack the Ripper. With this rare opportunity at my fingertips, I decided I would conduct an exclusive Puzzlestud interview with the famous serial killer.

Luke Duke: Will you vote for Bush in '04?

Jack the Ripper: Wouldn't you? Ha ha ha ha ha.

LD: Yes, In fact I would, and will.

JR: An overwhelming compulsion.

LD: What do you think of the current state of Iraq?

JR: The current state of Iraq ? It is I that should question the current state of Iraq ? ha ha ha ha ha. Not worth the farthings.

LD: So you support the current administration?

JR: Hunt the head and hands instead of the thimble.

LD: What is your opinion of John Kerry?

JR: Is that important?

LD: I think so, yes.

JR: Think on why are not saucy Jacky answering you.. So clever.

LD: Whatever dude.

JR: With a rose to match the red I tried to cut off the head Damn it I cried, The horse went and shied But I could still smell her sweet scented breath.

LD: It's crap like that that makes people not like you.

JR: My God.

LD: Can we just continue with the interview?

JR: Do you mean you and me? Just continue with the interview ? Believe I will. Why not.

LD: What did you think of the Passion?

JR: The Passion? It is nice to laugh at bastards and fools. the passion ? ha ha ha ha ha Not worth the farthings.

LD: So I take it your not a Christian?

JR: Ha ha

LD: Is there anything else you would like to say?

JR: Is there anything else saucy Jacky would like to say? Don't you know? You thought your-self so clever I reckon.

So there you have it. Jack the rRpper refuses to talk about John Kerry, supports the Bush administration, and calls Jesus a bastard and a fool. Just remember you heard it here on Puzzlestud first.

Luke Duke 5/06/2004 01:08:00 PM #

Wednesday, May 05, 2004


Hugh Hewitt is reporting that The Elder had his stomach stapled. Judge for yourself. Elder is on the right.

Luke Duke 5/05/2004 04:10:00 PM #

It didn't take long for Michael Moore to cry censorship regarding Disney's refusal to release his new Bush-bashing movie, "Fahrenheit 911."

"At some point the question has to be asked, `Should this be happening in a free and open society where the monied interests essentially call the shots regarding the information that the public is allowed to see?' "

At some point the question has to be asked, "Should it be legal to fabricate elaborate stories meant to interfere with the election of the most powerful man in the world?"

**Update**-Marc Cooper exposes Michael Moore's publicity stunt.

Luke Duke 5/05/2004 10:37:00 AM #

Tuesday, May 04, 2004


Monkeys wrap-up the Ted Rall controversy.

Luke Duke 5/04/2004 04:56:00 PM #

Ted Rall today confirmed that he is indeed an asshole.

He tells Editor & Publisher: "The word 'hero' has been bandied about a lot to refer to anyone killed in Afghanistan or Iraq. But anyone who voluntarily goes to Afghanistan or Iraq [as a soldier] is fighting for an evil cause under an evil commander in chief."

"Tillman gave up millions of dollars," Rall added. "To that extent I think he's admirable, but the cause is not. ... He would have been a better person and a better husband if he took the $3.6 million and played football and left the poor and beleaguered people of Afghanistan and Iraq alone."

Luke Duke 5/04/2004 02:57:00 PM #

Spammers seem to be getting more and more viscous. Their subject lines used to be mild mannered questions about my manhood such as, "How do you stack up to competition," and, "do you need a little extra girth?" Then today, I get two e-mails regarding know...thingy. One stating "That's why they call you 'smallie'," and another asking, "You think you can please her with that?"

What happened? It used to be that spammers were nice guys that you looked forward to seeing everyday, like the paper boy or the milk man. It's a sad reflection of our society that not even purveyours of various methods of penile enlargement can be civil. What's next? Doctors calling patients whales to get them on a diet? Orthodontists handing out literature on how you look like your mom had Mr. Ed's baby? I've said it once and I'll say it again, it starts with the spammers and trickles down.

Shame on you spammers.

Luke Duke 5/04/2004 12:00:00 PM #

Prager's Words of Wisdom

"Syria is not Ohio with a different language."

Luke Duke 5/04/2004 11:11:00 AM #

Monday, May 03, 2004


Ted Rall is an asshole.

This is the kind of b.s. you'd expect from ignorant college kids.

**Update**--MSNBC removed the cartoon--new link here.

Flashback: Rall's "Terror Widows" cartoon, in which he depicts widows of the 9/11 terrorist attacks as being callous and materialistic, even happy that their spouses had been viscously murdered. Sure, they got money when their loved ones died, but Rall made money to assail them in their time of grief.

God forbid Rall ever has to deal with what those who lost someone that day did. Money doesn't heal those kind of wounds.

Luke Duke 5/03/2004 10:37:00 AM #

Since I haven't served in the military, I am afraid to question Kerry's credibility since, obviously, that would mean I was disrespecting everyone who has served. Good thing these guys are here to criticize him for me.

From CNS News:

"What is going to happen on Tuesday is an event that is really historical in dimension," John O'Neill, a Vietnam veteran who served in the Navy as a PCF (Patrol Craft Fast) boat commander, told . The event, which is expected to draw about 25 of the letter-signers, is being organized by a newly formed group called Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.

"We have 19 of 23 officers who served with [Kerry]. We have every commanding officer he ever had in Vietnam. They all signed a letter that says he is unfit to be commander-in-chief," O'Neill said

We are going to be presenting a letter that deals with Kerry's unfitness to be commander and chief that has been signed by hundreds of swift boat sailors, including most of those who served with Kerry," O'Neill explained.

"The ranks of the people signing [the letter] range from admiral down to seaman, and they run across the entire spectrum of politics, specialties, and political feelings about the Vietnam War," he added.

Luke Duke 5/03/2004 10:34:00 AM #
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